Lake Atitlan, Guatemala

 

The shuttle from Antigua to Lake Atitlan took about three and a half hours and arrived at 4pm.  The van approached the lake from a mountain road high above, and the lake came out of nowhere.  Suddenly, I was greeted with spectacular views of an expansive, majestic, shimmering blue lake radiating the afternoon sunlight, encircled by lush green hills and towering volcanoes.

I was dropped off in Panajachel on Calle Santander, the main street leading to the docks.  Panajachel is the largest city on Lake Atitlan and the main hub for boat transit around the lake.  I decided to spend the night in Pana and found Hostel San Francisco, a rustic hostel with cheap private rooms and decent wifi.

After dropping my bags, I headed down to the docks to see the sunset and was not disappointed.

Prior to coming to Lake Atitlan, I heard it was a “magical” kind of place.  At first, I wasn’t exactly sure what this meant, but after being in Pana for an hour and now standing on the dock and gazing into the sublime, I noticed that my senses felt heightened and could feel the high vibrations and energy of the place.  It reminded me of Magic Mountain in San José del Pacífico, Mexico.  In retrospect, if I had to use one word to describe my experience at Lake Atitlan (particularly San Marcos), it would be ‘synchronicity.’

Lake Atitlan is hidden in the Sierra Madre mountain range of south-central Guatemala.  It was formed when lava ate deep into the earth’s crust during a massive volcanic eruption some 80,000 years ago.  The place is in the heart of Mayan country.  Women and girls dressed in traditional, brightly colored, hand-woven Mayan garb are ubiquitous around the lake.  The indigenous people speak Kaqchikel, a distinct dialect of the ancient Mayan language, Kiche, which is a large departure from Spanish.  Kaqchikel sounds rough, more like German or Russian than Spanish, and frankly alien—unlike any language I’ve ever heard before.  Lake Atitlan is said to have been an important Mayan spiritual and healing center for many millennia.  There is an ancient city submerged at the bottom of the lake.  From what I was told, the indigenous Mayans spoke of a city at the bottom of the lake for centuries, and the foreigners and people of Spanish descent thought they were speaking of a myth or metaphor.  A fisherman accidentally discovered the lost city 20 years ago, confirming the ancient Mayan oral traditions, and it has been relatively unexplored since then.  There are several towns of varying sizes built around the lake.  They are all generally small, undeveloped pueblos, with a main road or two connecting to the main dock, and a sprawling network of houses and dirt roads built into the surrounding hillsides.  Due to the high energy and mellow vibrations of the area, the lake tends to attract the ‘hippie’ type.  It is not uncommon (<- double negative; a big-time no-no) for travelers to visit the lake, and then wind up there for several years.

After sunset, I grabbed a beer from a tiendita and wandered the city.  There were many stands selling the cool, colorful indigenous handmade goods.  While perusing the stands, I made my first encounter with Kaqchikel as the vendors showed me their handiwork.  This strange language bewildered me, but I did my best to communicate with hand gestures, maintaining eye contact and smiling broadly at the lovely Mayan ladies.  I wanted to buy several items, but resisted due to limited space in my backpack.  “Next time,” I told myself.

Overall, Panajachel was rather dead that evening.  Most of the cafes, bars, and restaurants were empty.  It was still early, so I decided to get some dinner and look for some action afterwards.  I had a delicious burger at a place called ‘Mister Jon’s,’ owned by a smiling, long-haired, gringo of about 60 who stopped by several times to make sure everything was up to snuff.

After dinner, I wandered some more, looking for people to make friends with, but the town seemed to be deserted.  I found my way back to the hostel, rolled a spliff and fired up some poker tourneys.  I final tabled two out of eight tournaments I played (pretty good batting average!), but disappointingly busted both of them in 5^th place netting me about a grand on the night.  Not bad.

The next morning, I spent a few hours brunching and writing in a café.  In the afternoon, I took a boat across the lake to San Pedro la Laguna.  I checked into a hostel called Mr. Mullet’s.  There I ran into Kiwi Nick, the owner of the hostel whom I had previously met on my first day in Antigua.  We shot the shit over drinks in the hostel bar, and he introduced me to the supercool volunteer staff of the hostel and met a few of the locals.

While chilling at the bar, I met a guy working on his laptop, who turned out to be the single most interesting person I’ve met on my travels thus far: Tops Nicol, founder of the Alphaseed project—antifragile, autonomous, sovereign, submergible ocean cities!  I asked Tops every single question I could come up with as to the safety, feasibility, practicality, sustainability, etc. of his vision and he had convincing answers for all my concerns.  He showed me 3-D design plans he had commissioned, in-depth plans for the ecosystem, special graphene 3-D printing machines he is building, pending patents, and the beginnings of work on an artificial intelligence system to manage the city.  The amount of research he had compiled was staggering.  The guy frankly blew my mind.  While the Alphaseed idea is certainly futuristic and seems like a long way off, this guy is already courting superrich investors from places like Dubai and Hong Kong.  I will not be one bit surprised to see this become a reality in the near future.  Sign me up!

In the evening, I went out to wander around San Pedro and grab dinner.  San Pedro is rather small and there was not much to explore.  I noted some decent looking organicentric restaurants, but they all seemed to have closed at 5pm.  I walked past a street food stand that smelled incredible.  I tried to order, but was unable to get too far as the lady cooking only spoke Mayan.  I began gesturing, but luckily a guy eating at the food stand spoke English and translated into Kaqchikel for me.  I had marinated grilled chicken, veggies, beans, rice, and guacamole for ~$2.00—hell yeah.

I returned to Mr. Mullet’s and caroused in the bar until a group of about 15 guests headed out to the main bar in town, Sublime, at 10:30pm.  I had a great time—a well-balanced blend of raging it up in the bar and on the dancefloor, and chilling at the fire pit near the lake.

The next day I woke up late, hungover of course, and set out for breakfast.  Afterwards, I wandered San Pedro some more, and my findings of the previous night were confirmed—there wasn’t that much to see or do there.  There weren’t even any convenient places besides the main dock, which was busy with boats, that I could find to go swimming.  I could rent a kayak, but it was midday and I didn’t want to fry myself.  I got the impression that the main thing to do in San Pedro was drink at lake front bars.  Instead, I went back to the hostel to read and take a siesta.

Afterwards, I went to the bar, and met three American girls discussing Thanksgiving.  It was Thanksgiving today.  Whoops, slipped my mind!  They told me there was a bar offering a Thanksgiving dinner that night, and I joined them.  Unfortunately, I was supposed to have signed up the previous day for the Thanksgiving Day dinner, and the waitress said they didn’t have extra turkey for me.  Instead, I had an order of guac, a big fat burger, fries, and chocolate cake with ice cream while everyone else had the reportedly lackluster turkey dinner.  We all watched the end of the NFL game over beers, then headed out to Sublime, again.

There I met Hannah from Canada.  She said I looked like Mark Zuckerberg (lol) and we had an ongoing joke about that all night.  After a few drinks, Hannah and I went for a walk down to the main dock.  We laid on the dock, smoked a joint, and stargazed.  Beautiful!  We saw three different shooting stars before heading back to the hostel together.

The morning, I again awoke feeling rough.  “Enough!” I said, and booked a cabanita on Airbnb to recharge and relax.  After breakfast, I said goodbye to Hannah, Nick, and the rest of the crew, and took a boat across the lake to San Marcos la Laguna.

Getting off the boat in San Marcos, I immediately felt a welcomed sense of calm and serenity.  I originally heard about San Marcos about two weeks prior from a couple of hard-partying Australians, who described it as a place for the “Woo-Woo,” while rolling their eyes.  “Sounds like it’s right up my alley,” I had thought and made a mental note.  Later, in Guatemala City my friend Rocio, who is into consciousness and spirituality, recommended San Marcos saying, “You have to go!  It’s perfect for you!”

I wandered up to the main street, seeing countless posters for ‘healing’ work, meditations, ‘dance,’ ‘play,’ Kirtans, yoga, massages,…, you-name-it while passing some, shall I say, interestingly dressed people along the way.  “Hmm…” I thought.  While I consider myself mindful, spiritual, conscious, and all that, I generally have an allergy for people who are overly granola.

I asked a few mototaxi drivers if they knew ‘Casa de Castro,’ the Airbnb I was staying in, and a guy took me for about an 8- minute ride over dirt road to an isolated spot halfway between San Marcos and Tzununa.

The cabin was up a hill and pretty much in the middle of nowhere.  It had a kitchen/dining room and mosquito-covered bed.  The shower and outhouse were outside.  It was bucolic and solitary, but with a solid internet connection.  Just what I was looking for.  Plus, the view of the lake was spectacular.  What a cool little accommodation!

I got settled in and then walked 15-minutes back to San Marcos to look around and find a place for yoga.  I met a girl from Quebec, Jaqueline, and we got to talking and eventually had lunch together.  She was on a day trip from Santa Cruz and also looking for yoga, so we eventually found (after an hour of searching for it) our way to Yoga Forrest, an idyllic, picturesque yoga facility overlooking Lake Atitlan located in the hills high above San Marcos.

After an hour and a half of yoga, we walked 20 minutes through the hills to San Marcos below.  Jaqueline caught the last boat back to San Pedro and I bought some veggies and took a mototaxi back to my cabin.

I spent the evening, cooking, drinking tea, reading, and observing the many (large) spiders that came out at night.  Relaxing.

The next morning I awoke early and after a cup of tea, headed into San Marcos for a 9am yoga session.  When in Rome.

Afterwards, I bought some supplies and headed back for a huge breakfast.  After breakfast, while marveling at the lake and my surroundings, an idea popped in my head.  I had some top-quality LSD from the Netherlands that I had brought from home.  I took a 100ug tab.

It took a while to set in, but by about 2pm I was having an amazing trip.  I sat in the shade in the backyard of the cabin, overlooking the lake, and meditated.  While listening to, and feeling, the sounds of the wind blow through the trees, the insects buzz, and the birds sing, I had amazing kaleidoscopic and sacred geometry type visions—a visual representation of Dharma.

Later, I laid in the grass and rolled around, laughing in wonderment at the splendor of the natural world.  At one point a hummingbird appeared to patronize a flower some four feet away from where I was laying, and hovered nearby for a couple of minutes.

I went for a walk in the nearby hills.  Nature was vibrating, radiant.  All the plants seemed to glow, and nod at me knowingly as I walked by.  I had a grin from ear-to-ear, and could feel the ever-present love of the universe surrounding me.  What glory.  How are we so be so blind to such profound love most of the time, when it felt so natural and pervasive now?

I returned to the cabin to enjoy some tea.  Then, feeling a bit tired, I laid on my bed and put on some Indian raga music, mostly by Ravi Shankar.  I closed my eyes and was again transported to a world of colorful, constantly changing geometry.  I could feel ‘helpers’ present. Disembodied entities fluttering around my head caressing and repairing my brain.  Helping me rediscover my natural state of grace.  I began seeing family and friends, all of them smiling angelically.  I smiled back and laughed, acknowledging our heart-connections.

I went to the mirror.  As recommended by Dr. James Fadiman in The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide, I stared into my eyes for about 10 minutes.  This is something I’ve done before during the waning phases of an LSD trip.  What happens is astounding.  If you soften your gaze, while focusing on your eyes, your face begins changing—morphing into distinct, different people.  The same eyes, but different face.  Some of the faces even have hats and scars.  And it doesn’t seem to be random.  Some of the faces looked almost like a caveman with big, robust brow and jaw.  Another like a sailor(?).  Another like a woodsman.  Another like my maternal grandfather.  And on and on.  My best guess is that I was seeing my closest genetic ancestors.  Try it yourself ;P

The rest of the evening was a relaxed and blissful.  Endorphins and serotonin surging.  It’s amazing how psychedelics taken under carefully considered set and setting can produce such a rewarding experience with remarkable benefits.  When taken indiscriminately people can have horrific experiences and negative consequences.  Psychedelics are tools for resetting your life experience—use them wisely!

After sunset, while cooking dinner and listening to classical music, I stood in the open doorway of the cabin admiring the fading dusk.  A stray dog appeared out of the bushes.  At first, he was surprised to come across me, and was scared and hesitant.  I shot a ray of love from my heart into him, and soon he was rubbing against me as I petted him.  I welcomed him inside to share dinner, and he spent the rest of the night laying at my feet while I listened to Peter Sage podcasts.

The next day was Sunday (funday).  I did yoga and meditated in the backyard before making a giant breakfast and settling in for a day of grinding.  In the evening, the dog showed up again, and I was happy to feed him again.  I had a bunch of cashes, but nothing too significant.  I final tabled my last tournament of the day, but it was only an $11 buy-in with only about $1800 for 1^st place.  It dragged on until later than 2am, and being a bit tired from my LSD trip the prior day, I fell asleep for I don’t know how long, before waking up and busting in 5^th place.  I made enough to put me into about $150 of profit on the day. Meh.

Monday, I tried to book the cabin for another couple days, but it was already reserved for someone else.  I packed up and headed to La Paz (perfect name) hotel in the heart of San Marcos.  I did yoga in the afternoon, and wandered down to a secluded dock afterwards.  There was a girl sitting on the dock, peering out pensively.  At first, I didn’t want to disturb her, but something told me to go ahead.  As I approached, she looked up at me and we locked eyes.  We began chatting, and I met Suzi, a strikingly beautiful Australian goddess that I would become quite close with over the next few weeks.

After talking for an hour together, Suzi headed to her daily group meditation (she was doing the Moon Course, a month-long residence at Las Piramides), and I returned to my hostel for dinner and relaxation.

The next morning, I went to yoga at 9am, and then had breakfast when I met Kelsey from Canada.  We walked around San Marcos together and hung out for the rest of the morning.

At lunch, we met Dante, an extremely eccentric character from California.  He invited us to a channeling session he was offering that afternoon.  Another guy we had met at lunch, Noah from NYC, recommended we go.  It was too far out for Kelsey, but I decided to go and had my first of several forays into the super Woo-Woo in San Marcos.

Six people gathered into Dante’s apartment for the channeling session.  Dante explained he would be channeling Pleiadians—extra-terrestrials from the Pleiades star cluster.  Huh?  ETs from the future.  Wait… What?

We formed a half-circle around Dante.  He lit incense and held his ‘channeling stones’ in a meditation posture.  He told us to relax, explaining that the Pleiadians can sense fear which is a peculiar sensation for them since they do not have fear, and asked us to begin meditating.  Dante ‘connected’ with the Pleiadians, and greeted us in a different voice than usual.  After a brief introduction, the Pleiadians opened the floor, and people in the group began asking questions.  They would then answer in elaborate, metaphysical detail.

I asked them how to create a free energy machine, and they told me the information was already available on earth and referenced and quoted Nikola Tesla (LOL), “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration,” but they told me it was not my path to invent such a machine.

I asked how to raise my level of consciousness.  The Pleiadians spoke about how I relate to myself and my belief systems, and how these limit me.  What they said was spot on—something that Dante couldn’t have known or picked up on in the 30 minutes I had known him.  They also spoke about internal and psychological states of difficulty that I frequently experience in their answer which were again spot on.  Their advice was basically to steadfastly trust myself, and not let the limiting beliefs of others diminish me.

The Pleiadians basic message was that earth is undergoing a massive shift in consciousness that will lead humanity to our cosmic destiny.  They were here to help us on our ascension.  In order to progress, we needed to understand that our thoughts directly shape our experience—our internal state is directly reflected in the outside, physical world that we experience.  When we truly understand this, we can begin directly shifting the collectively manifested world.  To change our world, we need to intently envision the world of our dreams as if it is already so, and it will become so.

After the channeling session, I was kind of stupefied.  It was interesting.  At first I was skeptical, but by the end it seemed like Dante was indeed receiving communications from outside himself.  I don’t think he could have kept up an act for that long and that consistently.  Furthermore, I was around Dante a lot in the following weeks, and how he normally spoke was very different from the language he used in session.  While in San Marcos, I would come to learn about two other popular channels: Bashar and Abraham.

I wandered around San Marcos contemplating it all.  I wound up at the dock where I had met Suzi, hoping to find her there again.  Instead, I found Ann, who had been in the channeling session.  We sat and talked about it all until sundown.

In the evening, I did a Temazcal sauna session at La Paz.  Just the sauna, not the whole ceremony like I did in Mexico.  I sat in the Sauna alone for an hour.  As I was readying to leave, two naked girls crawled into the Temazcal with me.  They told me they were my “fairies,” and sung songs to me.  At a couple points they asked me if there was anything I’d like to wish into my life, and if there was anything I’d like to remove from my life.  Then they sang songs to ‘aide’ me in manifesting or removing these things from my life.  It was surreal.  After about 30 minutes, they bid me farewell.  They told me they were staying at La Paz, but I didn’t see them again after they left the sauna.  Just as quickly as they had appeared, they vanished into the ether.  To this day, I still wonder if they were ‘real.’  The whole thing seemed almost like a dream.  San Marcos is crazy, man.

That night was a new moon.  There was New Moon Ceremony taking place on one of the docks.  After a cold shower, I headed down to the main dock, but didn’t see anyone.  I turned around to leave, and bumped into Suzi.  She was with a friend, and we all sat and talked for a while.  They retired to bed, and I went to a different dock and found the New Moon gathering.  They were ending the ceremony, but offered me a pad of paper and pen to write down things I wanted to manifest in my life.  I wrote down some things, and shared a few of them with the group.  One thing I wrote was, “Win 3 poker tournaments with top prize of $10k or more in the next 3 months.”  I’ll keep you updated on that 😛  They told me I could burn my piece of paper, put it in the lake, or bury it in the earth so my wishes would ‘grow.’  After the ceremony closed, I buried the paper with my wishes in the garden at La Paz.

The next day I again hit 9am yoga with my favorite instructor in San Marcos, Brazilian Paola.  In the afternoon, I went to my first Cacao Ceremony.

In San Marcos, there are two local legends—one of whom is Keith the cacao shaman, often described as a ‘wizard’ by those in-the-know.  At first, I of course didn’t know what they meant by ‘wizard,’ but I would soon find out.

At 1pm, I headed to the Keith’s house and assembled with about 20 other people on his covered patio.  We all got comfortable on the myriad pillows, cushions, and blankets, then were served a ‘ceremonial’ dose (43.5g) of hot cacao.  I added panela (a natural, local sugar-like sweetener) and a bit of chili powder to help it enter the blood stream faster.

As an aside, Keith has an extremely interesting backstory (related to me by Dante).  I will not go fully into it here, but the cacao we are served is said to be the most rare and potent cacao in the world.  He searched through South and Central America for years to find the ‘right’ cacao as communicated to him by the plant spirit of cacao.  He sources it from a remote indigenous group somewhere in Central America, and won’t tell anyone where it comes from.

It is understood that people have attended the cacao ceremony for psychic-emotional healing and to evolve their consciousness.  His patio is considered a sacred, safe space, where attendees can express themselves fully, in confidence, without fear of judgment.  Cacao opens the heart, so people are generally more willing to share otherwise personal feelings.  As such, the ceremonies can sometimes be quite heavy with much crying as people work through their issues.

Keith’s cacao ceremonies don’t have an agenda.  They last as long as they need to, usually about five hours, but you can leave any time.  It takes about 40 minutes for the cacao to fully enter the bloodstream.  In the meantime, sometimes there will be a silent group meditation, or sometimes Keith will begin speaking on his understanding of consciousness and the universe.  Then he opens it up to attendees.  In general, someone will bring up a question or issue they’ve been struggling with, and Keith will go into a dialogue with them to flesh out the root cause and help them understand and overcome their issue.  Sometimes he will use another attendee with a complimentary or opposite energy profile to help the person he is working with.  Sometimes Keith straight up calls a person out, putting them on the spot.  Keith has special ‘wizard’ powers that assist him in this process.  He vividly sees peoples’ aura and energy, and he has ‘guides’ (various sprits, including the spirit of cacao) that speak to him.

This ceremony, I kept to myself and observed.  It struck me how Keith cut through peoples’ bullshit and the stories they tell themselves to get to their ‘real’ issue.  It reminded me of Tony Robbins, but even more acute.   It was also interesting to watch him analyze someone’s energetic profile, and help them remove energetic blockages.  When Keith was having a dialogue with someone, it was amazing how almost everyone in the group could relate to the issue at hand.  Therefore, even though he is working with one person at a time, almost everyone in the group is getting something out of it.

At the end of the ceremony, as I was gathering my backpack, Keith turned to me and looked me in the eye, “You belong here.  I know you’re hesitant about all this, but you were guided here because you belong here.  You’re special.”  It felt like he was looking through me, which me made a bit uncomfortable, so I nodded and thanked him for the ceremony and excused myself.

The next day, I attended morning yoga with Nigel, a yogi-shaman, who I had met the night prior.  No one else came to the yoga class, so I had a private Kundalini yoga class with Nigel.  Kundalini yoga was new to me so it was cool to get this private introduction.  Kundalini is quite different than the more popular versions of yoga such as Vinyasa or Hatha, and closely related to Tantric yoga.  It involves a lot of breath and prana (or vital, life-force energy) work.  It was quite interesting, and I got a lot out of it.  So much so, that I went to another class at 11am with Nigel.

After two classes, we had become buddies, and went to lunch together where we had an interesting discussion about Kundalini and Tantra.

In the late afternoon, I headed to a park on the shore of Lake Atitlan featuring a cliff diving platform sitting about 35-feet above the lake.  I had seen the platform when arriving in San Marcos by boat.  From the boat, it didn’t look that high.  Atop the platform, peering over the edge, it’s scary.  It took me a moment to summon the courage to jump, but I eventually made the plunge.  My heart went into my throat as I felt the freefall effect before hitting the water in a ‘pencil.’  My toes were not pointed downward as my feet struck the water, so smacked the water quite hard and painfully.  Other than that, it was awesome.  Completely exhilarating.

I made another few jumps before hiking into the hills above and watching the sunset.  Ahhh Lake Atitlan.

The next morning I moved to a new hostel, Circles Café and Hostel.  It had a kitchen and better wifi than La Paz.  Plus, I basically had the place to myself as there was only one other person staying there—an interesting character whom I would become good friends with, my soul-brother Sean from Indiana.  Sean was in San Marcos studying at a Tai Chi monastery for three months.

Saturday, my buddy Kevin from Mexico City and the Acatenango Volcano hike showed up for a one-day visit from Antigua.  I showed him around San Marcos and we had some ginger beers overlooking the lake.

In the afternoon, he caught the last boat back to Pana, and I went to get an ‘intuitive massage’ by Kathy, a well-known ‘healer’ in San Marcos, referred to me by Aussie Suzi.  This was my first ever full body massage… at almost 32 years old.  I know.  Wow, what I had been missing.  It was a full body massage, incorporated with Reiki energy work, acupuncture, and aroma therapy.  I went to her because I had sensed some sort of disturbance or ‘blockage’ in my third chakra or solar plexus area during my LSD trip.  She indeed picked up on a ‘dense’ energy area in the lower ribs of my back.  She asked if I knew I was extremely tight there, which I didn’t, and told me I was probably holding onto something I wasn’t aware of.  She guided me through breathwork while using Reiki to help me pass the energy.  I walked out of the massage session with a grin from ear-to-ear, feeling like a million bucks.

In the evening, I went out for the best meal I had in San Marcos at Restaurante Tapas Fe.  I had stuffed and baked avocados, filled with shrimp and olives in a tomato garlic sauce.  Divine.

The next day was Sunday, December 4^th—my 32^nd birthday.  Whoa, 32.  I woke at 6:30am, did my gratitude practice, and meditated for 45 minutes before heading to a 7:30am yoga class overlooking the lake.  After the class, I found a secluded spot, and went for a skinny dip in the lake.  So refreshing.  Now that’s how you start a day!

Afterwards, I bought a quarter chicken and bunch of vegetables and returned home to make a giant breakfast and start a big pot of chicken soup.  I spent some time reading and journaling then settled in for a Sunday poker session.  Poker was going well despite several wifi hiccups, but then the internet dropped for 30+ minutes at about 7:30pm.  When the internet came back, all my tournaments had been sabotaged and I had a negative $700 day.  I knew the internet in San Marcos was not great (no fiber optic cables), but I took a gamble (pun intended) and played anyway.  Oh wells.

Sean and I shared the chicken and rice soup, and then went out for some birthday brownies before returning to talk life and love for the remainder of the evening.  Albeit chill, it was one of my more enjoyable birthdays in a while.  And the first one since 15 or so that I was sober for.

The next morning I went to see my favorite yoga teacher Paola.  In the afternoon, I headed to my second cacao ceremony.  On the way to Keith’s house, I had a feeling of reticence, sensing that something was going to happen for me there.  This ceremony would prove to be the first of a few illuminating experiences I would have over the next week.

The ceremony progressed as normal.  Keith and I kept making eye contact throughout the ceremony.  I was a bit nervous that he was going to call me out.  Towards the end of the ceremony, the girl sitting next to me brought up an issue she was having in her love life—of being too controlling.  Keith worked with her for a bit then asked her to turn and face me.

“We’re going to use this gentleman here to help you.  I am confident he is going to be able to help you.  You see, this gentleman is an advanced healer.  An extremely powerful healer.  He doesn’t yet know his power, and is in fact terrified of discovering his potential, but he has been a healer for ages.”

“Wait… what?  Me?” I thought, but went along with it.  Keith instructed us to do (what I later learned was basically) a Tantric soul gazing exercise.  He instructed her, and said I would instinctively know what to do.  With soft gazes, we stared into each other’s eyes for about 20 minutes, while Keith continued speaking.  He was right.  I instinctively knew I had to hold the space for this girl to go through the emotions she needed to experience.  I felt an energy beaming from my heart region.  I looked at her with ultimate compassion and understanding, without sexual desire to give her a safe space, while staying centered (which was difficult as we were the center of attention of the 20-person group).  By the end, tears were streaming from her eyes.  She had a breakthrough and we laughed together then hugged deeply.  The group clapped.

Keith finished with her and then returned to me.  “How’d that feel?” “Good, I guess…” “And how do you feel inside?”  “Interesting…”  “But inside, you’re vibrating intensely somewhere.  I can see it.  Where?”  I closed my eyes and took a couple of breaths.  “Here, it’s ringing like a bell,” I said while indicating my chest, between my heart and throat.  “Exactly.”

He asked me to close my eyes.  He told everyone else to close theirs as well and tune into their hearts.  He told me to envision, sending out the energy from my chest to the group.  Then Keith asked, “Who could feel that?”  Several people indicated they had.  “I know I could feel it!” he exclaimed.  He asked others what they felt, and they said things like, ‘expansion,’ ‘acceptance,’ ‘relief,’ and ‘glowing.’

Keith went on to talk about the high heart chakra and explain what I was experiencing.  He said my high heart chakra was undergoing a massive opening.  I was being initiated to the “cosmic party.”

He also explained that with the opening of this chakra, my abilities as a powerful healer would begin to manifest.  Keith said he could see my aversion to this idea, but explained that my distaste for healing is from having encountered healers that were either frauds, ‘fixers,’ or the ‘holier than thou’ types.  He explained that I won’t be any of those.  I will be able to heal simply through my capacity to hold space for another with intense compassion.  “Buddy, you’re a healer.  Deal with it!” he concluded.

This all took me by quite a surprise.  After the ceremony, I went out to eat with group of people from the ceremony, but I was lost in thought during dinner, pondering what Keith had told me.  Upon further reflection, there have been times when I’ve been thinking about what I should do with my life, and the thought ‘healer’ would pop into my head.  I’d always dismiss it, “What do I know about healing?”  But where did that seemingly random thought come from?  Other times, I had thoughts about studying at the Four Winds Society with Alberto Villodo, just for my own edification, of course.  I also thought about many times in the past when people had spontaneously opened up to me, telling me their problems and admitting things to me that they’ve shared with few other people, and realized it was because I had naturally offered them compassion instead of judgment.  My mind was spinning.  It was all a lot to digest, and I went home and passed out, mentally exhausted.

The next morning I went to a 9am yoga class, then went to an introduction to Qi Gong class.  I found the class to be extremely interesting.  It was basically combination of meditation and slow, purposeful, flowing, kung fu-like movements.  After the warmup, there were a couple of exercises in which I could literally feel energy moving in the empty airspace between my hands.  It is a practice that I will have to explore further in the future.

In the afternoon, I met Suzi at Los Piramides and we hung out together in the garden where she taught me a few different Pranayama breathwork methods.  I had been toying with the Wim Hof method of breathwork while I was staying in Antigua, and was struck how similar it was to Pranayama.  There are several different combinations of breathing patterns to achieve different effects: energy, calm, immune boost, vitality, fertility, etc.  What an amazing feeling it is when your blood is hyper-oxygenated.  High on life!

In the evening, I did another sauna session with Suzi and her friend Elisa from Poland.  We sat in the sauna taking ‘hits’ of eucalyptus essential oil and chatted together for about an hour.  Then we each took a freezing cold shower afterwards.  Fuck yeah!

I hadn’t eaten lunch, so after the bodily cleanout provided by the sauna, I decided to further the detox and fasted overnight until breakfast the next morning.

When I awoke the next day, I felt unbelievably clear-headed, and wasn’t even super hungry.  Nevertheless, I ate a decent breakfast then went to meet Suzi for more Pranayama and yoga.

In the early afternoon, I headed to a ‘reading’ with the second of the local legends in San Marcos—Dr. Bill Clemens.  This reading would prove to be the second extremely ‘illuminating’ experience of the week.

Dr. Bill is as eccentric as they come.  Now about 65, he’s originally from Minnesota though he’s lived in Latin America for the past couple of decades.  Unlike most in the realm of the Woo-Woo, he is a successful businessman with farming and real estate properties throughout Central America.  He’s been awarded several high distinctions from the government of Guatemala for building infrastructure and providing invaluable healthcare services to indigenous groups.  Despite being filthy rich, while in San Marcos he lives in a modest tin roofed house, the exterior decorated to look like an elephant, because he ‘likes the way the it looks.’  He is a sought-after Tantra Master.  He has a doctorate in psychology, though now focuses on healing with the mind, predominantly by removing emotional blockages.  He claims to have healed dozens of terminal cancer patients and to be the only person to have ever completely healed an HIV patient (which of course is said to be an incurable disease). Since his transition to healing from psychology, he has become a pariah in the traditional medical community for advocating healing with the mind instead of drugs.

Dr. Bill says he is a ‘Seer.’  He claims supernatural ‘psychic’ abilities to see the future, communicate with spirits, see energies and auras (like Keith), and read Akashic records.  (Related ‘local legend’ lore: I met a guy who had ‘studied’ with Dr. Bill and he told me one time when Bill was hard up for cash, he witnessed Bill walk into a casino in Costa Rica with $60 and walk out 20 minutes later with $10,000, because ‘he knew what numbers to play.’)  People had told me Bill would blow my mind.  I went into the appointment skeptical, but can safely say Dr. Bill blew my fucking mind.

First, he started off having me stand against the wall.  He read my aura, telling me I have a brilliant orange energy field, with a bright green as my next strongest color.  He also said I have a violet light emanating 10-30 feet around me, indicating I was an Indigo.  He told me that energetically I was a creator, an artist, and inquired about my artistic proclivities.  He told me I have Crystalline Energy, and said he could see that I had Silver Wings, a trait of the archangels (interestingly, Nigel also told me I had Silver Wings).

He told me he was excited for me.  He could see that beginning on Nov. 11^th (about three weeks prior), I had unwittingly commenced an intense spiritual awakening.  He told that it was no mistake or coincidence that I had arrived in San Marcos, and that I had been ‘guided’ here to encounter ideas that would progress my evolution.

Next, he began telling me I am an Empath, and that I have empathic energy like a vortex over my head.  Then he told me I’m a Seer, “You’re the real deal, you’re just like me buddy!”  He told me I have psychic abilities, and natural ability to remote view.  Interesting…

Then he started reading my Akashic Records.  He told me I’m an old soul.  I volunteered to come back to earth with a pact to help save the planet.  He then told me I was a powerful shaman.  “Damn, again?” I thought.  He said that I have over 700 previous lives as a shaman.  Whoa.  He predicted that I would have a ‘shaman bump’ on the back of my head above the brain stem, then felt the back of my head, and sure enough…  He told me I was also a Starseed, here to help raise the collective consciousness.  He then echoed a similar theme as Keith, that I was not ready to be a healer yet because of false associations and a belief that it “is not safe to be a healer.”

He then started to tell me my future.  This part was for me, so I’m going to keep it to myself, but most of his projections helped me understand and crystalize visions of the future I’ve previously had.  The crux of it was, “The more you give, the more you’ll receive!”

Then he started digging into my emotional framework.  He told me that before I was born, my consciousness agreed to take on oversensitivity in this life in order to overcome it for my children as well as to use it to help heal others and to help raise the collective consciousness.  We went into other emotional states that I experience, including some familial issues, and why I’m meant to experience these issues.  Some of it got a little heavy.  He helped me clearing some scrambled energies with a wand that he waved at various parts of my body as I was answering several of his psychological questions.

The reading ended with a numerology session.  Bill read a horoscope-like forecast based on my birth numbers “35/8.”  Wow, the prognostication based on my numbers was spot on too.

It ended with him giving me a lot encouragement to explore my gifts.  He recommended me some resources, and invited me back to speak further.  He also was adamant that I needed to explore Tantra. LOL.

I walked out of the appointment bewildered and mentally exhausted, but buzzing.  I had a lot to process.

On the way home, I passed by the ‘Smile Center,’ and made an appointment with the owner, Dennis, to reconnect with my ‘inner child,’ as recommended by Dr. Bill.

The next morning I went to my appointment at the Smile Center.  Dennis is another of the well-known San Marcos healers.  He is an 85-year-old French Canadian, with the most beaming smile you have ever seen.  He uses past life regression and a related Reiki-like energy practice for healing.

I laid face-up on a massage table, and he put a few stones, crystals and such, on my body.  He closed his eyes and hovered his hands over my body.

After a couple of minutes, he told me, “We have a problem.  Your inner child is missing.  The inner child lives in the second chakra.  In most people the inner child is present although faint and repressed.  I cannot even find your inner child.  It is because of a past life.  You were a powerful warrior.  One who trained young warriors.  You taught children that love and play equal weakness.  Like the Spartans.  But, not to worry!  You were also a shaman.  So, it should be easy to heal you!”  Wow, the shaman theme… again.

He did some things with his hands over my stomach area, while telling me to remember times from my childhood of playing and being happy.  “You inner child is back!  He’s so happy to have returned home!” Dennis exclaimed with bright smile.  He did some further work with his hands and crystals before he said I was done.

Dennis teaches an ‘Emotional Kinesiology’ course at the Smile Center.  On the way out, I inquired about the course.  He explained that it used the findings of Applied Kinesiology as taught by Dr. John Diamond to reprogram emotional traumas and limiting belief systems.  Wow, I was reading a book about Applied Kinesiology called Power vs. Force (highly recommended) that was resonating with me, and now I learned that Dennis had been studying this exact topic for 30 years.  I felt compelled to take the course and signed up for the two-day course starting the following morning.

That evening I did another Kundalini yoga class with Nigel.  Afterwards I went swimming in the lake and then laid on a dock in the sun for a while.

In the evening, I went to a ‘Psychodrama’ ceremony hosted by Nigel.  Psychodrama is the reenacting and rewriting of a personal story that has shaped an individual to recreate their personal narrative with more empowering themes.  About 10 people took part in the ceremony which took place around a bonfire at El Fuego.  It started with the theme of ‘Innocence.’  Everyone in the group shared what the term meant to them.

Two people (I was one of them :P) told stories of losing their innocence.  The group took part in reenacting their stories so they could relive the experiences from different points of view.  The reenactments of the events shifted the stories from negative or traumatic experiences into stories of growth and empowerment in which their innocence was maintained.  It was an interesting experience and good reminder of how humans use stories to define themselves, and how those stories determine their life experiences—for good or bad.

After dinner, I went out to eat with a new guest at my hostel, Ellanah, a yoga teacher from the UK who currently lives in Thailand.  We immediately connected and would become good friends over the next week.

The next morning, I started the Emotional Kinesiology course.  It started with an introduction, and then Dennis and his assistant, Lenny, tested us on various themes.  The first test was stating, “I love myself,” with right arm held straight out to the side parallel to the ground with my arm flexed.   Lenny pushed down on my arm, and my arm went weak, indicating I had failed the test.  The idea is that the body doesn’t lie.  The mind lies and deceives constantly, but the body never lies.  “Almost everyone fails that one,” Dennis consoled me.  We continued testing other topics to determine where we needed to focus the emotional reprogramming.

After learning more about our emotional hang-ups, we learned a few methods to remove our issues including Ho’Oponopono, Divinity prayers, Unconditional Love, and Emotional Freedom Techniques.  Weirdly (or not), after using these methods to clean a particular issue, we would often pass AK tests that we had failed just five minutes prior.

Another thing that I took away was Dennis’s teachings on the term ‘Love.’  According to him, ‘love’ is a word that has been bastardized and misused such that it’s now almost universally misunderstood.  What we normally call love is really just intimacy.  Love is not something that is given to one person, and withheld from others.  Love is not something that is conditional (i.e. I love you unless you do or do not do X; e.g. ‘I love you unless you cheat on me’).  Love is everywhere, at all times.  Love is the fabric of the universe.  Love just is.  It is unconditional.  You are embraced by love no matter what.  I like that.  This is something I felt deeply during ayahuasca ceremonies.

In the afternoon, as usual, I did yoga then swam and sunned my belly.  Life is good in San Marcos.

It was Friday.  In the evening, Ellanah convinced me to attend an ‘Ecstatic Dance’ ceremony at La Paz.  It took place in the outdoor yoga shala after dark.  Candles lit the space.  Flowers decorated the center of the shala, with petals scattered about.  About 50 people attended.  Everyone sat in a big circle.  The leader of the ceremony, Julia, passed a ‘talking stick’ was passed around, and one-by-one everyone shared their intention for the dance ceremony.  Then hot cacao was served to open the heart.  Many cry out, “Chick—ooo—EEEEE!” the call and invitation to the Cacao spirit. Then everyone lays down in a circle, face-up with head facing the center.  A short Shavasana-style meditation takes place to help you release any tension you’re holding onto as you melt into the ground.

Then, a low, prowling rhythmic drum and bass song starts pumping from the speakers.  You’re encouraged to move around however you feel while on the ground.  You’re encouraged to keep your eyes closed.  The music shifts, and you’re encouraged to move and express yourself however you feel on hands, knees, backside, whatever close to the ground.  I opened my eyes for the first time at this point and was momentarily shocked.  It was like a scene from one of the Circles of Hell.  People crawling around like animals, growling, spasming, cavorting and contorting erratically as the tribal drum and bass music pulsed.

Then you slowly rise to your feet, and are encouraged to stomp and pound in place.  Then they begin playing a song or two for each of the seven Chakras, beginning with the root chakra and moving upward.  You’re encouraged dance and move however you feel.  You’re encouraged to keep your eyes closed, and go inward.  Touching is not allowed, there’s no grinding or anything, it’s a personal voyage.

After each song, there’s a pause and silence.  Then you’re encouraged to take deep breaths with loud exhales.  To let go.  Then sometimes you’re told to howl, to shriek like Indians, to hug yourself, to yell, “I love myself!” etc.

Then another song begins pumping and you’re told to focus on the next chakra as you dance.  It’s madness!  Everyone is going nuts!  But great fun!   I danced with my eyes closed for >75% of the ceremony.  It was easily the hardest I’ve ever danced sober (or drunk).  It was truly cathartic.

Afterwards, everyone sits in a circle together.  The talking stick is passed around and everyone describes their experience in a few words.  Then everyone lays down, and Gong Bath type of music is played by one of the local musicians.  After that, everyone sits again, holds hands, and chants a mantra to close the ceremony.

It was an awesome experience.  Everyone should stop what they’re doing right now, Google “Ecstatic Dance near me,” and go to the next event near you (Caseburgers, I’m looking at you).  You won’t regret it.

Afterwards, Ellanah and I headed home and made a late dinner together.  We were both in a tranquil yet goofy mood and had a bunch of fun cooking dinner.

The next day, I finished the Emotional Kinesiology course, and spent the rest of the day doing yoga, meditating, and swimming.  Then hung out with Sean and Ellanah all evening long, while watching ‘Dia del Diablo’ festivities in which locals scare off the devil by blowing off a ton of fireworks.

The next week progressed with a beautiful regularity and harmony.  I spent most days doing yoga in the morning and afternoon, meditating, swimming, reading, and hanging out with Suzi, Sean, Ellanah, and Nigel.  I was eating an extremely clean, mostly vegetarian diet.  I was getting comfortable with this kind of lifestyle.  “The people in San Marcos know how to live,” I constantly thought to myself.

I went to one more cacao ceremony with Keith.  Nothing major happened for me like the previous ceremony, but I again got a lot out of it.

Later in the week, I learned Reiki energy healing from Dante, who is a Reiki Master.  I received my Reiki attunement, and underwent two full days of training to receive my Level 1 certification.

My last full day in San Marcos, I went to a three-hour Intro to Tantra class.  It started off with an hour of Tantric yoga and meditation.  Then we blindfolded ourselves, and danced spontaneously, almost like the ecstatic dance, for twenty minutes.  Then we did some Kundalini exercises.

Finally, there was ‘partner work.’  We paired up, male/female, and did various Tantra exercises including soul gazing, smile therapy, extended Tantric hugging, and expressing yourself to the opposite sex.  Then it closed with a group share.  The class was interesting and helpful, and Tantra is something I will explore further.

(FYI Tantric hug: left arm high around your partner’s back/shoulder, right arm low around their hip/small of the back, with your face to the right of theirs so your hearts line up)

Later, I stopped by Dr. Bill’s house.  I wanted to pick his brain some more, and felt I could use some further guidance on my revelations from the past week.  We had coffee and chatted, and he graciously entertained my inquiries.  I asked for more resources and he happily suggested books and transferred some literature onto my USB stick.

I also took the opportunity to ask Dr. Bill questions about starting an eco-project.  He gave me some ideas.  Then, he introduced me to Felix, a German who was closing on a farming property in northern Guatemala.  Felix and I discussed the logistics of his project for about an hour.  We exchanged contact information, and I offered to work on Felix’s farm after the deal went through.

It was Friday again, and Ellanah made sure I attended the Ecstatic Dance ceremony again.  I might have had an even better time at this ecstatic dance ceremony than the prior week.  Great fun!

After the ceremony, I said goodbye to many people I had met while in San Marcos.  They invariably tried to get me to stay longer, but having been in San Marcos for three weeks I had decided to move on.

The next morning, I said goodbye to Sean as he left for Tai Chi at 5:15am.  I think we’ll hang out again, stateside.

I walked down to the main dock, sat, and reflected while watching the sun rise over lake.

I packed my things, and caught an 8:30am shuttle to Antigua, concluding my first visit to Lake Atitlan.  I had been at the lake for 24 days, 22 in San Marcos.  It was an edifying, enlightening experience filled with personal revelations.  In a short period of time, I got to explore many modalities of healing, self-realization, and personal development, which I otherwise may never have been exposed to.  I think I am a better person for having been here.  I also have a feeling this will be a pivotal point in my life.  Leaving the lake, I was glad I was ‘guided’ here, and felt more ready to manifest my destiny than ever before.